did you know that catherine the great diedbecause of a horse
true story
you see, catherine had what you might call
a desire to explore
she had numerous maidens working for her
they were to sleep with members of the guard
and select those best equipped
to attend to catherine's desire
so what happened was this
she had a special machine commissioned
and the machine broke
what was supposed to happen
was that the machine would lower a horse
down on top of the willing catherine
i'm far too shy to go into detail
of what the horse was supposed to do
let's just say they needed a big man
for a big job
when they tried lowering the horse
the machine broke
the horse's considerable weight came crashing down
now this raises numerous questions
such as
was this the first time she tried using the machine
did it break as soon as they tried to use it
or did catherine, that sly fox
get a few hours and a few giggles first
now of course you realize that
this is all in the interest of truth
the passing on of our history
why i once heard that napoleon
sent his wife a letter from the front
and it ended with
josephine, my darling
i'll be home in two weeks
don't bathe
Copyright©michael dennis/Pulp Press Book Publishers 1988