mrs. noah
let's say noah had a wife
a fairly understanding woman
but human, flesh and bone
noah gets the word
devotes himself to the boat
it's not like he wants to go sailing
but he's measuring cubits
always drawing on the kitchen table
mumbling measurements in his sleep
their love life dwindles to nothing
in the ensuing tedium
give or take a decade
mrs. noah takes to the grape
it starts out with thimbles
but with time and practice
she gets it down to a science
things start to go wrong at the noah home
first it's just late dinners
but then it's no dinners at all
and then the rains
noah and his sons have been busy
but this has all been to mrs. noah's displeasure
everyday on her way to the hotel
she'd yell
"monkeys fucking in the living room
and kangaroos in the kitchen
all this shit everywhere you step
it's just too much"
the big day arrives and the water is rising
noah looks around for his wife
but of course she is down at the local
her habit having been perfected
her affair with the grape complete
noah sends his two eldest sons
in the hope they can reason with their mother
and if reason fails "carry the stupid bitch home!"
the water is to their knees as they half-drag half-carry
their screaming mother to the boat full of beasts
and as we all know they set sail
noah and his bride
no liquor on board
and lots of catching up to do
Copyright© michael dennis/Pulp Press Book Publishers 1988